The Diaries of Two Madmen

This page is not advocating the use of any particular substance. Chemical use should be an individual decision made after much research and thought. To deny people the ability to explore their religion and take their sacraments is horrible. For this reason, an honest source of information is required. There are many dangers in all things in life and this is not any different. This information is provided as a public service to educate. It is built on experience, research and submissions.

WARNING: Do not use any substance if there is a history or the potential of mental or physical illness unless it has been shown to improve your condition or attitude. Do not use substances if you are on psychotropic pharmaceuticals or other types of drugs until you have researched possible interactions.

5.10.5 9 Chicchan, 17 Chen, 13 Manik (1998Oct01).

After many hits of the bong we join our friends...

MM had the idea of bringing on trips using hypnosis and key words. You choose key words when tripping, then can bring that "state" back by hypnotic suggestion at a later date. Using external drugs to generate internal experiences to metaprogram in at a later date. The same thing would work with good stones. Use key words and later just bring that high back at will! Awesome, and also legal! Give me my bong, I need a toke!

GW: For instance one of GW's mushroom trip used the phrase "It's just like watching a funny movie." GW's first LSD trip used the phrase "The LSD Sun." Using a key phrase which you associate with an experience will make the best choices for activation triggers. You set them up in that state for that purpose. Brain-waves act as long-range communication.


5.10.10 1 oc, 3 Yax, 13 Manik (1998Oct06).

After many hits of the bong we join our friends...

GW: Stoned and burnt again and will hopefully again tomorrow. Well hopefully only the stoned part. While talking about Kabbalah, MM said that if you want to see G_d first comes a storm.

MM: The "storm" is used in many mystical texts. It represents a barrier. Like the "abyss." It is used in the book of Ezekiel in the Hebrew Prophets. This is an important concept in Kabbalah. It can also be linked to many thing in life. The phrase "it is always darkest just before dawn." This metaphore extends throught eternity. The bud is also great! Ha! The laughter is like a storm! I just wanna get more stoned! Lets blast off again! Into the darkness and seek the light... or the lighter.... ever which! With bong in hand the Mystery Man descends into obscurity.

GW: Like Cauac and Ahau (Mayan day-names, Cauac=Storm, Ahau=Lord/the Creator). GW: Herb does take the place of a woman, a generator of love. The self-aware net, each point can reference any other point.

MM: Does not agree that herb replaces a woman. MM likes women very much. MM likes herb a lot too.... better when you have both, but either will do! A woman doesn't last quite as long (at least with me), but damn it is great!


5.10.13 4 Ben, 6 Yax, 13 Manik (1998Oct09).

After many hits of the bong we join our friends...

Last night turned out weird. MM insisted that Cannabis has anti-inflammatory properties and convinced GW to smoke. It may have helped with a soar throat. It worked really well. Good advice. It will be followed from now on.

MM: Cannabis is great for allergies. It also helps a lot with asthma. Pain and other things are also eased with use. Plus, let's face it... it be great to be stoned! The best medicine ever. MM am so wavey wavey... happy... stoned! The cotton mouth, from our illustrius Cannabis, dries up the sinuses and helps with the cough. It dries up the drainage... as it gets you stoned as hell too! So lets get to the point and roll another joint... MM has already had many... MM guesses MM will have more....

"You might not believe this little fellow, but it'll cure your asthma too."--- F. Zappa


5.11.12 10 Eb, 5 Zac, 13 Manik. (1998Oct28)

One of MM's Mescaline Trip Reports:

The Mystery Man ingested 483mg of Mescaline in a tea from dried San Pedro cacti.

I was not quite sure what was going on. The mescaline seemed to be hitting really fast. Soon I was wondering where along the way I made the mistake. I went and checked the other dose I made. I did the math in my head again.... oh oh, I had made a mistake. I had taken more than I thought I did. Well, I was anxious enough, and stoned enough I wanted to double check my dose with a friend. So I called and said, "I just took this much mescaline (by cacti weight), what am I going to be dealing with?" He said "Well, you took 483mg... the chart only goes up to 500mg and that is a warning dose."

The house across the street melted into a train.

Waiting for the full effects to make themselves know. Waiting. Coming up,
and up. really surprised at how gentle this is for a high dose. Not nearly
as speedy and somatically intense as Peyote. This again confirms my earlier
feeling that I prefer San Pedro over Peyote. Waiting and pacing in the back
yard. Smoking another cigarette. Holding off on smoking more marijuana to
better judge the mescaline.

I walked around to the side of the house and was talking on the phone.
Commenting on the effects and the general "mood" of the sacrament. I looked
over the fence across the street. All of a sudden, in a swirlish-trail of
colors, the house across the street melted into a train locomotive. I
glanced down the street, and the other houses changed into train cars. I
said very loudly and excitedly "holy shit!" I think I better be going inside
now. I went in and wandered around. It was not very long until I realized I
needed a cigarette and a few bong hits. So, back outside I went.....

He can easily communicate with the big tree. We said hi. It felt real.

I smoked my stuff and was noticing the tree. The biggest tree in the back
yard. It was radiating happiness. We said hi. It seemed so real. I knew that
the mescaline was opening the doors of perception and what its effects
were.... but this seemed real. I knew it to be the effects of the entheogen.
The tree said it was starting to wind down for the winter. It was really
happy that I watered it a lot last summer, but stated it was a bit thirsty.
One more good watering is all it needs this year.

The communication took on a different dimension. I blended with the tree. We
became "one flesh." I started learning from the genetic memories in the
tree. I saw how humans have the same DNA memories as the trees until we
branched. We are all one... the trees and the humans. The humans just
developed differently for different reasons. The trees are our cousins. They
can teach us a lot. Their technology is different. They were kind enough to
evolve to give us air. They have strived to help support all other life, but
it turns away and destroys everything.

Evolution is like a software program that is running and constantly
modifying itself to create a perfect environment for the planet and
ultimately the universe. It started off with 1-celled organisms but,
the spirits are eternal, so long before the spirits got together and decided
what they would do, their function... the spirit of the trees decided to
become physical trees... the cells started dividing and splitting, each
spirit took it over and guided its evolution...

The trees became trees to produce oxygen to contribute to the world.
Each spirit made a decision to contribute to the world. The plants evolve
for their reason... plants produce oxygen and nourishment. Other life
chose to exhale carbon dioxide.... the spirit defined each role..
The evolutionary model shows the software, the interplay.
Psychedelics activate all of our DNA which activates the parts we share
in common with all else, trees, animals, etc.

Psychedelic plants activate in our own DNA those strands shared in common
with the psychedelic plant's DNA.

It all depends on a binary system, down below the subatomic level, it
either exists or not, building up from the microcosm. There is an on
particle and an off particle. The on particle has properties and expresses
this. These properties cause it to link to other particles and this "binary code"
then attracts and links to other "binary codes." Those particles then form
neutrinos, then quarks, eventually forming an electron. The same process goes for all
sub-atomic particles.

This on-off function is much like DNA. Particles (originally binary codes)
form strands. They program the "next" level of evolution and contain the
cosmic "binary code particle system." Like amino acids form proteins due to
their properties, they form then "nucleotide" structures. Then these attract
their respective particles due to their properties. This double-helix
structure acts in certain ways attracts larger particles by their form and function.
These then function and express their properties.

Eventually you have protons, neutron and.and electrons. These then form
atoms, their functions and properties, which give rise to the matter in the
universe. As the scale grow universally in size, it repeats again on the cosmic
scale. Atoms form the planets and stars, which form solar-systems. These form
galaxies, and they form clusters, that then form "super-strings." Do they then act as

Animals have binary consciousness. The consciousness that separates us from
animals has a non-binary nature. Like fuzzy logic. Humans function on a
standard binary code.  We are programmed with that from conception.  That rate at
which this code functions in the individual is their frequency.  This code
functions as determined by the DNA.  Almost, there is another faculty in humans. This is
the imagination/intuition.  This functions like a binary code but instead of
just 0 and 1; it is 0, 1, and all the possible numbers in between.  This gives an
infinite number of possibilities.  This gives humans initiative to figure things out, and
the ability to think abstractly.... and create.  Even to act independently, or by inspiration.
Everything Applies!

One's wave level = the time for one number to oscillate back, from 1 to
0 to 1 etc. The rate change between "numbers" is the individuals frequency.
Like radio frequencies are measured, with the top of the wave to the
bottom back to the top being one cycle. Because humans share basic DNA,
our frequencies are close together. Hence we can consciously relate to
one another. Trees have consciousness, but the frequency is so "slow" that
from "our" perspective (our frequency), it appears they have no individual
consciousness. Like when driving down a road fast, the center lines blend
into one line. The speed of travel (frequency) prevents you from detecting the individual
lines (individual tree consciousness).

Taking entheogens initiates secondary waves to our primary wave of
consciousness, allowing a connection and communication between the two.
Imagine a chart measuring brainwaves. you see one line across the top for
that frequency. It goes along... when one doses, you see another line, lower
on the chart a line starts and continues until one comes back down. This second
line is the expanded consciousness that is the DNA that is we have in common with
that plant turned on. Since plants, through DNA, have relatively similar
frequencies we can consciously interact with them all.

You can take the information and bring it back into your consciousness.
While that DNA link is open, you can communicate to the spirit world through the Spirit
of that plant. This is why the Spirit world, while being the same, appears different
due to the filter of the plant Entheogens taken. Each plant has a slightly
different frequency and so acts as a filter when the information comes in.

Synthetic drugs have an erratic frequency since they do not share
in the DNA code. Therefore, they turn on DNA from various sources
and not any particular frequency. Their state of consciousness comes
from the mind interpreting these erratic frequencies as best possible.
Hence, with dissociatives, you go into a state where you dissociate with
the body and nature. On other drugs you do things that are un-natural for
your personality, and possibly quite destructive personally.

The distinction! Whether or not a substance occurs in a biological
organism or not... Only use Entheogens which are natural...
Only the "naturals" are truly Entheogens? Avoid un-natural states.

Mescaline teaches us to listen to the Earth, and the plants. The plants that
are grounded in our planet and know more about it that all other life
combined. The trees are the "decorations and furniture" of the Spirit of the

After this period of time I decided to go warm up a bit inside and see what
was going on in there.

He cannot read an ad on TV, like a foreign language. Before The Mystery Man
talked about treating Microscope (the bong) correctly. ...

The television is still on from earlier. The screen seems to be some sort of
plasma with the letters and figures exploding out into a 3D space. Then the
melt and fade back into the plasma... and another explodes. The audio is
strange almost flanging sounding at times. The tones have a different
quality. Some of the sound waves change to visual color waves when they
strike walls and the like. Television makes absolutely no sense although
many of the stuff I see is extremely humorous.

The words appearing seem to be in a different language... but TV is only in
English around here.... I watched TV for a while. This is crazy so I went
back outside to smoke more. Somehow I got the equation of the bong and a
microscope. I have no real clue how this came out to be. However, the bong
would assist in self examination much like a microscope....

After I got done smoking again, the true lesson of the trip came. The vision

He sees a landscape with hills and mountains in another dimension, with a
setting sun. Seeing Heaven and Hell on the fence in the wall of the house.
On the left, the lawful neutral, with elves and the setting sun. The right
chaotic neutral, disorder. In the middle a big clump with mushrooms growing
out. One of the mushrooms goes to the lawful neutral, and one to chaotic.
The mushroom forms the synthesis.

The cinderblock fence started to take on a surreal quality. Soon the colors
drifted down and settled into place. A landscape. Then like watching a
movie, time passed. I saw the growth of plants and trees. Then the
emergence of the "elves." I saw them build. All in harmony. The perfect
creation. I saw a setting Sun cast shadows of houses and trees... exploding
the clouds into a diffractive dance.

There was something else going on though. To the right of this "movie
screen," where in real life plants obscured the fence... a concurrent
"video" was being shown. This one of chaos. The structured random churning
blackness of disorder. Yet even this had a type of order to it, even if that
was simply madness. It evolved and dissolved at the same time as the "elf

Right where these two imaginary worlds met...there was another plant....
this one like a small bush... like a clump. This clump transformed into a
mushroom patch. It had mushrooms going into the chaos and the order. The
disorder of the blackness and the order of the elves. The mushrooms
represented Mankind. All sprouting from the same source, but reaching into
different spaces in the sanity and insanity, or order and chaos. The
mushrooms also represented the entheogens. It means that the entheogens when
taken by mankind created this synthesis of the worlds. It surfaces the ties
that bind us with everything and every one.

The balance of the mystic is the state the entheogen generates. The visions
showed Heaven and Hell. All states of the same matter, just organized
differently. One with a structure or identity and the other a void... but
only in a form. We create our own world, in this life and the next. The
vision becomes nearly impossible to relate at this point. The spiritual
abstractions and the elevations the lessons of these visions prevents
discussion. There simply is not sufficient language, or rather language is
not sufficient to relate.

The world of order is the Lawful world.  Not laws as in legal codes, but
lawful as in structure and organization.  This could be viewed as Heaven or
Fairy Land.  Humans imply that this is "Good," that is all in human
perception.  In actuality they are neutral.  They are neither good nor bad.
This is existence outside the dualism that is our universe.  While living in
this dualism, it is really impossible to completely understand the idea of
complete non-dualism.  It is something outside the possibility to exist in
this universe.

They world of Chaos is the same way.  It is non-dualistic.  It was lack with
subtle colors showing occasionally.  Churning and twisting... never
constant.  This is existence without any laws or structure.  Everything
exists but is not in relation to anything else.  Madness pales in comparison
to this state.  The idea has been captured as the villain in the Marduk
legends.  It is the Hell of biblical description.  Again, it is not bad or
evil, it is completely neutral.

Chaos has an important part in human evolution and functioning.  It is the
realm of the imagination.  It is from whence the creative aspect comes.  Out
of chaos order arises.  The Chaos spurs our evolution.   This is the origin
of our problem solving abilities.  This state spurred vocal tones.
Tryptamines bring this aspect of Chaos in those experiences.  The impulse
for expression and the importance of the vocal tones and vibrations.
Brining it back into the normal life was easy.  However it was pointless and
just noise.  Humans added structure over time and language was born.  Out of
Chaos order comes.

This is the mediation of the mushroom which represents all natural
entheogens.  They filter that Chaos so it doesn't destroy our minds, and yet
let us benefit from it fully.  It also represents the Tree of Life.  More
over, the Middle Pillar.  All the entheogens are located on the Middle
pillar.  The synthetics can be placed in the other two pillars or the

The entheogens take this energy and filters it through the Sephira that it
is related too.  This adds into the thought that different entheogens are
related to the elements.  The Sephirot on the Middle Pillar also represent a
world, which is direct related to the elements.  The entheogens can build
connections to and understanding from elements lacking in this incarnation.
The same thing happens with the Lawful "existence."  The Entheogens filter
that too, as we could not understand that total structure and organization
like we cannot understand complete Chaos.

Using this model, it is possible to take "substance" fro the Chaos, bring it
into the plane/world the entheogen works on.  You can then mold that
"substance" into some thing physical in this world by drawing the structure
and organization from the Lawful world.  By doing this humans can act like a
creator... humans can make things.  They cannot, however create anything.
We can only take from the stuff already created and change it in conformity
to our will.  In observing this however, we can see the actions used in
Creation and understand its laws and functions.

The Entheogens relate to the Sephirot on the Middle Pillar like this:

Kether = Amanita Spirit: World; Fire
Tipharet = LSA/LSD: Intellectual World; Air
Yesod = Tryptamines: Astral World; Water
Malkuth = Mescaline: Physical World; Earth

Without common frames of reference, the next few
hours would make very little sense. However, as that later faded, I noticed
something else. Something really happy for some reason.

The cherry tree says it feels happy.

The cherry tree is radiating happiness like I have never seen before. I go
over to it and it starts going on and on about different things. I realize
that like with animals, the trees are much more hyper and talkative when
they are younger. I listened to the tree and talked to it for a long time.
When I walked away I felt the residual happiness of the tree for a very long

(note, the next year the tree produced record amount of cherries)

I went and looked over the fence off unto the horizon.

He saw a little pixy house. It disappeared and reappeared. And disappeared

The pixie house appeared and blinked out.. the reappeared for a long time.
It was in a state of temporal flux or something. Not completely in any
plane. An existence between planes, or maybe between realities not so much as

He also had the idea of a combination radio and select antenna. (note: this
came to be about 7 months late with the release of the CC Radio)

Of course a 10-12 hour peak contains much more information. It is hard,
however, to write everything that happens during that long of a time period.
These are just some highlights of the trip.

End of this report.


5.14.6 12 Cimi, 19 Mac, 13 Manik. (1998Dec21)

LSD Trip Report:

GW Just dropped a little after 23:00. It felt better to dose tomorrow but the Mystery Man will tonight so......... 23:37 Starting to feel it, some waves of light. 23:44 Turning into light, the Mystery Man seemed surprised that doesn't happen to everyone when they trip. 23:58 Grinny and feeling good. For depression, surrender back to the Clear-White Light to relax and reopen the crown chakara. 00:24 Listening to Moving Pictures. flashing back to that time in life.

MM dosing (about 350mics LSD) at 23:00 synchronized to GW. At about 23:45 started feeling odd. About 00:15 starting to get standard trails for this dose. The intense incredialbe waves of open-streams-of-consciousness begin. 00:35.... Peak time... will enjoy the good medium dose ride.

GW the MM said "All good things in life come to an end so you may as well make the most of it." Seventh circuit seems like a vault of symbols left for posterity. 01:19 Feel grinning and MM just took more (100mics according to e-mail)? We synched with the Mystery Man. 01:35 Really weird, viewing life as a text adventure.

EM (by telephone...) orgasmed while we tripped, she should have announced it, she sort of did. Now the female Goddess energy runs high.

MM Says the pain we experience from laughter reminds us that we are physical beings. Remember the idea of running a gas station with illegal underground tanks. 20,000 just closed, $11,000 fine every day. They made the law ten years ago and it will soon go into effect. If someone had a lot of money they could run an illegal gas station and pay the fine every day just to spite them. Just takes the most balls in the state. They could then run for president and we'd vote for them.

GW GHB acts as a landing pad for a trip. Brings you down nice. GHB feels great with Herb after the LSD. EM rules. How to capture this feeling? The trip also wanted to teach the distinguishment between the little "i" and the big "We" self. The little self chatters away, the big self comes in clearness and stillness, speaking the things you just can't argue with. Also remember EM's little green men. When she talked about Auric colors, the organized busily running elves doing a thousand and one things at once.

MM Really getting into the gas station idea. Coming up with too many wild ideas to keep up with. Guess they are lost to obscurity... maybe to come back as an echo of time. Information non-local and not limited by linear time.... This is the secret of the mystic. The oneness of all and the limitless of thought and spirit. The two mingle and our minds function.

GW The trip wants to teach about folding space or something. The God perceives himself as having brought the universe into existence. The Goddess accepts that the universe brought her into existence. Everything applies to the Mystic.

Many reports lost due to computer and human error. Some might be saved, hopefully.

One of MM's 5MeO DMT Trips:

"Can't talk, having religious experience" Staring at the moon's reflection in a pool tree of life a reflection of the light the real moon takes on luminosity - the Pure White Light see the relation between the light and its reflection a view into a higher world. 5 MEO really likes water!  and the moon. water/moon/astral.

The Mystery Man drank some chocolate (large amount cocoa) and said it made the trip enjoyable. Highly Recommended, possibly because Cocoa has MAO inhibitive properties. it makes 5MEO feel more like mushrooms, more like a trip kind of trip, much more visuals and fluidity. more alive. more manageable. he hasn't felt like this except on very high doses of mushrooms. the chocolate has something to do with it. ten minutes felt like a few seconds. Ultra-fucking clean, even cleaner than ALD52 on a good day. natural...indigenous...a part of you. the perfect state of existence. airy. light. but intense. clear. all the audio sounds phased. standard hallucination things but so clear. color and reflections alive. a period of time passes allowing chocloate digest.......

He just smoked more on top of some high-quality herb. Definately feels a sort of MAOI effect. "Processing (5 minutes) stand by...""creation = correct phase, harmonics. accelerated heart rate and breathing. absolutely incredible visuals, undescribable. expansion and contraction at the same time." The releasing of 5MEO clicks the amygdala forward. "The mechanics of the fucking universe. Oh my G_d!" he just said that he undergoes one of the most intense experiences of his life right now. experiencing the universe in all forms. melting and shaping, the waves of creation and tide of the universe flowing through his entire being. tugging one way and another, and in tune with it. like a snake slithering. (Kundalini) a burst of static on the phone phased with the universe. very evolved, a religious experience. "I will never be the same...." more processing... It just keeps getting more and more intense. the moon pulsates. "Oh G_d dear hold on." the moon has transformed into something else. the G_d particle. the etherial blue glow rapped around it like fields that........................... the absolute subatomic truth. he sees it frozen in time and can understand it. it relates to the Breath of Life. transforming into the brain. firing patterns of the perfect full brain in use. clouds - a light - like an egg floating in the mists of reality, born into the brain. exploding like a nuclear explosion. a thousand Earths created and destroyed again and again and again. the whole cycle of life. the self pulled and tugged with the universe. colors just radiate into reality into the dark veil surrounding it. he caused something to happen with his consciousness. while looking at the pool he couldn't see the invisible clear water. focusing on the water, he thought bring the water up to a point where it would break the surface and ripple. just then the spout of the pool sweeper broke the surface and caused it, like he caused that to happen. everything we do we go for the effect. we get lost in the cause. if we could follow the effect through, follow through every action and see its direct effect over time, we could get the feedback we would need to plot our Karma to figure out what we needed to do to evolve. we do so much in a day we get confused. the energy - frequency cycling through - has to do with the Karma we deal with. to increase the frequency we must evolve past the particular Karma. the wind blows the water making the moon reflect like a strobe. he sees the universe emanating and reflecting back. Experiencing this and just reading and thinking about it seem very different yet both true. the linguistic expression just expresses the 3-d view, but he can see time. he can see through time and that presents the problem explaining in an extended moment that melts in the future and past equally. past and future intersect to form the now. he felt naked and exposed to the emanating source. a totally natural endogenous feeling. like stepping before G_d and recharging your batteries. Higher reality seems like riding a wave, normal reality like letting the wave pull you. "Yeah... We're talking about Brain Magic." - Art Bell revelatory. the syllables phased in and out of time and that made the word nearly impossible to say. about an hour later he still sees good trails. he had a true 5MEO experience. he smoked some pot with a tiny bit of 5MEO and some ate some chocolate. more processing. Psychedelics can lead us into a type one civilization.

an hour and a half had passed.

End of this report.

One of MM's 5MeO DMT Trips:

21:25 smoked some, he imediately said it felt really intense and had to go for ten minutes. 21:35 calling him back now. he said it felt like about a minute past. he sees awesome trails. one of the best shows he's ever seen in his life. he built a fire. the trails seem like a combination of Serian Rue and mushroom trails. the Cocoa had an affect but the caffeine increased his heartrate so he got a little cocoa buzz on first. phasing in and out of reality. "Rule #7 Remember how to burp." "if you're looking something up in alphabetical order.....where does 5 go?" Tribes use a kind of plant which contains 5MEO DMT. If someone knewthe had to die, or definately might and knew it they would want to go out tripping. "Wouldn't you do that snuff?" "yeah...maybe.." "no?" "well snuffs...kind of hurt." "Yeah but it has warnings......"

Map tryptamines to kinds of experiences. then they would become scientifically legitimate since they would become measurable

21:54 smoking more. processing stand by........... absolutely amazing. everything melts into the same wave-source. everything explodes from the Source. Oh my G_d!...hold on...... 21:57 eating chocolate donuts.. bitchin' trails. he watches the Dumbening simpsons episode. his body wants Cocoa though. still getting more and more intense. more incredible trails with wild colors emanating from the source. more processing. seeing them reflected off everything into his eyes. everything we see - that exists - reflrects from the Source. will call him back in ten minutes. 22:14 called him back. Chocolate extends the peak but when coming down after the peak it feels like coming down to an ultra-white-light-clear mushroom trip. At higher altitudes one's heart-rate speeds up as does their breathing. he just brought some water in to have the presence of water around.

22:21 just cleared out his bowl from earlier and will soon do a silent darkness trip with a good dose. definite tryptamine rush... our reality as a reflection, the physical world as a reflection of the spiritual world. an energy current flowing off objects. like a white light. he feels like about 6G's right now from the energy radiating from the Source, pushing it to the ground. The physical being seems no different from the physical matter around it. He understands the Breath of Life but can't explain it, because he resides in an oxygen-deprived atmosphere and will have to breathe more. the most peaceful death seems to just stop breathing in one's sleep. a select doorway. Pot and 5MEO go together well, they flow into each other. tobacco really grounds.

23:22 he smoked now and some before. he almost lost consciousness it took him into another world for a while. so intense. matter has become alive, no solidity in every object, everything seems fluid. form means nothing, reality just represents an illusion - a reflection. he can see the energy pulsing from everything - its own frequencies that make the wood the wood....... seeing through the material world. he understands trails. looking from something outside of time, seeing the past and the future, processing it as trails - an extended moment. like astronomers seeing stars thousands of years old. the breath of life represents a merging of intuition, the moment expands forwards. it takes time for the chemicals in the brain to break down. the consciousness raiser in the pyramid. like a triangle - the base = the life. the point = the current moment. bisecting the base = now. psychedelics take away that line and one experiences the whole triangle? the transcriber has become a little confused. It Makes the moment not as fleeting. the seventh circuit = the base line. eighth = the apex. non-local.

it puts a noticeable pattern to creating each moment. one sees it from a higher view creating it into the past and future. 5MEO and DMT in general seems to activate the Quantum circuit very consistantly. he smoked some pot at 23:50 and that started something. we've just talked and stuff. that bisecting line = the center pillar of the Tree, each moment has the Divine pattern. the unvierse recreates itself. refering to Terence's idea of psychedelics getting one into the wiring under the board, "I'd say it gets one to the source of the energy before it gets to the board." it lets one see the Gestalts of the universe. Terence's time-wave just represents one pattern taken to its extreme. afterwords: the 5MEO took him to the ground, he ended up drooling and twitching. he felt reborn.

MM "I lay there...... in a fetal position, drooling on myself and twitching.  I traversed the silver cord.... my breathing is hard, but my body so far away. I was no longer in the physical world.  I had exploded... let go.... into another world.

I lay there drooling.  I had been standing.  A blast of Energy from the Source forced me to the ground.  like being blasted with a firehose. Forcing me down.  naturally, I took on the fetal position.  But now, everything has dissolved into something indescribable.  This is definitely something "alien."  I fully understand Terences references to "aliens" being "so alien."

I know that if someone walked in they would dial 911.  I wondered too, at the beginning, if I were not going to die.  Death by astonishment....  another Terence reference.  I would not have been able to interact with anybody at this point.  For about 10 minutes I was there;  drooling and twitching.

This wan an undeniable frontal lobe/8th circuit experience.  Not for the faint of heart.  That other world, so interesting.  So geometrical in a strange way.  The motif of the pyramid/triangle was prominent.  I have such a different understanding of that geometrical figure.  I am very glad I really got into geometry in school.  I loved that class, and the experience used that information.  It made it mean so much more to me.

As I was returning I realized I was in a fetal position.  Like a fetus. Then as I returned more, that I was drooling like a babe.  As I regained consciousness, I noted that this was very much like re-experiencing birth. I have been truly born again.

This experience was so incredible that I am still very much integrating it. I have not reached total understanding of this yet.  I am quickly processing it, but this was so intense that it will take longer."

End of this report.


6.6.15 13 Men, 3 Xul, 1 Eb .(1999Jul)

LSD Trip Report:

MM and GW finally get to trip together! We dropped close to 200mics. around 22:30 or so. Leaving the Lordess Shiva today felt so sad. Really enjoyed the mushrooms last night. Wish more were here to mix with the LSD.

GW 23:20 It feels very clean. 00:31 MM says one thing he noticed about GW's place, You have to smoke pot inside but cigarettes outside. 01:42

MM It is interesting the differences between the metropolis and the country. The Desert feels much more "open" and free. Less chaotic energy from people. Not as much population density, or population puollution. When going back East it feels like blinders are put on and city opression weights down the spirit. LSD made this much more noticable... even though there was some on the plane ride accross country. Actually, about 200mics. Taken 100mics at a time about 1.5 hours appart. Interesting flight. Strange layover too. Had to migrate outside to smoke, and then go back through security. I have 3/4 an ounce of marijuana on the person... That in itself is strange, but then to be tripping... and just peaking really good for only a little while... Ha!

MM There is an interesting similarity between being inside the house and outside. Outside feels more free and less cluttered. inside has some oppression... most likely old energy from the house and area. Lots of historical energy-baggage around. Being inside casues a more "tense" expression of reality interaction. Not paranoid, but "tense." Being outside was great, possibly this is due to being able to smoke pot inside, and cigarettes outside... of which you smoke a lot more of while tripping. Smoking marijuana inside helped ease the "tenseness."

GW excitedly told their friend VV, he had figured out the secret to tripping forever and to this day this insight still seems to hold validity. VV said she didn't know.... Imagine a perfected acid high - the third strand activated. Imagining that state includes the ability to turn it off at will. This ability generates the compassion to run the system, the LSD high.

MM Telephone conversation takes a strange twist because of the "oppression" of being inside. Much less "testosterone-driven" responses and conversation outside... Inside the "cramped nature" brings aggression and self preservation to the surface. Not used to this in the Desert SouthWest. Used to wide open spaces... seeing mountains 180 miles away. Outside it is more open... still stifeling, but much preferable. It is not a problem maintaining inside, just that outside... with tobacco is more preffered... although bud must be smoked again very soon.

MM wanted to light a candle. GW warned him to take care when dealing with fire. MM made a classic response: "I am a human, fully versed and computer literate. I can handle fire." One candel lighting the room... the feel of the dark, humid city air. The small bong that spilled in my pocket the other day while at a workshop in up-state New York. Sitting there needing to be filled. The bowl is caked with resin. Wanting a toke. Making sure the bud is clean. Don't want to turn on the light... like the darkness with the candle. Sparking the bong and passing it ot GW. Must get stoned. Now must convince GW to drop more LSD. Must take more. Need to see G_d. Must get on a plane in 9 hours and fly accross the country. The last remaining hours in a big Eastern metropolis are an acid rush of future memories.

GW 02:43 Can't believe "we" just dropped the rest. The self-referencing. Note: don't eat intrasound clay powder while tripping. 03:26 Really starting to hit.

MM This added 150mics or more should really add a punch to this. Will be an interesting after-glow flight home... wonder if sleep will come tonight or not. At this rate no chance. Got to catch a plane tomorrow... or well, this morning now.....

6.6.16 1 Cib, 4 Xul, 1 Eb .(1999Jul)

Trip report continued from previous calander date....

GW: Every object has its own story of associations. Immortalists live in that ecstasy - surrendering and not caring about living or dying, life and death, peaceful in what would happen. Things go in phases. Thinking in the phases whether than in a linear progression. This referred to us going outside and coming inside we had an outdoor an indoor phase, each with distinguished characteristics, as VV noted. This trip seemed almost archetypal in a way.

MM Being off the phone is good. Really hecktic trying to get two on the line at the same time talking to VV. LSD being very abstract in its presentation of tonights lesson. Remembering back to last weekend and comparing the quality of this to the Sandoz LSD 25 that was had.... However, it was joyously mixed with a good dose of mescaline (actually the other way around) ... this all the evening after taking the mushrooms and ALD-52. Then the 5MeO DMT... all that bud too. This lesson was going to leave a valuable reference in the future. The LSD opened the "self' up to the effects of the high population density... it is helping to bring understanding on where best the "self" will function geographically.

MM Oh my, still going good. Must catch a flight in about 6 hours. Wow. Wonder if it will be possible to sleep in another 2 hours or so. Tomorrow must get a pack of smokes for the trip back. The time is off... somehow compressed and twisted. Physical objects vortexing into oblivion... which is simply a chaotic state. This is the effect of what "we" percieve as time. Objects are the "form" that the crossing currents of "universal waves" meet and interact. Each simply a frequency occilating at a specific speed or frequency. This gives rise to the physical "effects" that are "perceived" as the characteristics of solids, liquids, gases, and plasma.

MM The sunrise is quiet. Still. Hearing the city come to life slowly. The city is so different than the desert. Sunlight explodes through the many tall trees. Birds chirp and cars start. Is this the car-pool lane mister? Well, no my child. Would you like some candy little girl? Need to sleep in another hour or so.... or at least attempt too. Still going. Must smoke more pot.

MM Must try to sleep... must catch plane in 4 hours. Again the LSD adds to a never forgetalbe trip... in more ways than one. Must smoke pot... must smoke enought to allow sleep. If that is possible. Will give it a shot.... Now will lay down..... probably last entry for this trip by MM. It has been real, and fun... and definately real fun.

End of this report.


6.12.3 4 Akbal, 11 Zac, 1 Eb (03Nov1999)

Mystery Man LSA Trip report.....

Testing HBWR for effects:

Feeling  little something.  Been an hour already.  Still not much.  Dum de
dum de dum dum......  Slowly over the next hour the feeling grows.  Very

The LSA from HBWR is, in my opinion, the closest experience to pure LSD-25
that there is out there.  Totally different from the Mind-fuck acid that is
out there, just like LSD is.

My first thought was "This blows that mind-fuck acid away.  This is the
absolute closest thing to pure LSD you will ever get unless you know a cool
chemist with a good lab, or go learn yourself and buy a good lab.  I can't
REALLY tell a difference between them that much at all.  I will never take
any LSD again unless I am absolutely positive it is pure."

Total sobriety and no "speeding."  Colors clearly visible, and minor wall
"runnings" and pattern "shifting."  Not a hard trip at all, but very
enjoyable.  I would agree, if you state that 200ug of LSD is the fully
hallucinogenic dose, the 5 HBWR I ingested (6pm) was really close to 100ug
or so.  I agree that each seed is equal to 25ug of LSD.

learned something else....  you don't have to remove all the shell, but just
take a pocket knife and scrape all the "dark-brown" stuff off until the seed
is completely a creme color.  Tedious, but not that bad.

Based on this experience, I would project that 8 seeds would be a good trip,
and 10-12 would be a rock and roll trip... and 14-16 would be intense as
hell, but possibility of alkaloid effects.  not sure about hat.  Any ideas?

I would make the comparison between HBWR and Morning Glory, the same as I
would ALD-52, and LSD-25.  The HBWR was much less somatically intoxicating
and not speedy.

The trip lasted a good 6 hours before I munched 3 more seeds (midnight).  I
was finally came down around 7:30 or 8AM.  After effects unnoticeable-mild
(unless when first stoned), lasted until bed last night 10:30pm.  Takes a
good 2 hours to start the peak.  Grinding them up (the seeds after scraping)
will increase the rate of absorption and amount.  It would be the preferred

end of report.

.....More entries Soon to come....... Check back often..........


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updated 05Nov1999